I’ve been thinking about this stuff since the last term, where the presidential approval rating was hitting historic lows. How that got converted into a decisive win after 4 years is a little puzzling. It’s either a very quiet coup at the polling booths or a statement about who we are as a country. Neither is a great look for our United States of America.

So, what to do? My social bubble consists mostly of folks like me; liberal, progressive, and kind. I am literally preaching to the choir by making statements here about what we can do to make things better. In most cases, my friends are as engaged as I am in working on this situation. I don’t have to convince them.

Naturally, there is a 180-degree perspective out there, very opposed to the ideas that my sphere espouses, actively working to destroy programs we’ve built, or build things we’d find despicable. I wouldn’t be able to convince them.

My remaining hope for the country is that there is a large swath between these two polarities, amenable to rational discussion and debate, who might step just one foot off the line toward my side. In fact, I think most people with incomplete political ideologies or a lack of interest are more impressed by the quick hits and snap judgements than substantive conversations.

This past week, I was trying to imagine how so many folks could vote for such a divisive figure, and it dawned on me that it might not be pure anger driving that mindset, but rather unhappiness.

We’ve heard dissatisfaction, fear, and other emotions to describe what people are feeling, but the arguments I hear for removal of support, or laws to discriminate against non-white, non-male US citizens, are clearly based on an internal unhappiness.

Someone who is unhappy with their own lot in life may find it very difficult to root for someone else to get assistance. Especially if a political figure is constantly reminding them of how they are footing the bill!

Unhappiness isn’t necessarily tied to wealth. I’ve seen lots of cases in the charitable food world where someone picking up food for themselves out of need will pass on something to make sure others have a chance at it. And, on the other end of the spectrum, we see the actual richest man in the world cutting funding for the least rich in the country, while he could personally fund food for everyone for decades without putting a dent in his wealth.

He clearly seems like someone who cannot be happy in his skin no matter what he achieves, and does not seem to be pursuing happiness.

What does makes people happy? Money can provide momentary happiness (like fast food provides short-term nourishment) but it can also warp a persona. Revenge offers precarious satisfaction that doesn’t linger and can have nasty side effects.

Rich interpersonal connections and creative endeavors are what generate lasting happiness. That could be with family, friends, quilting guild, band, pickup soccer team – whatever. Belonging brings happiness. And, as corny as it might sound, love does, too.

If any of this is true, my theory is that we should not waste time on the definitively unhappy and destructive population that actively do not want to stop hurting others. Instead, we should be focused on the gray area.

I’m not advocating for ignoring what’s happening in the world, but rather to continue building the world we want. We should be meeting in person, welcoming others to join us, and talking about the pursuit of happiness. This is how we advance democracy and improve the American standard of living.