Something happened a while ago, even before we started sheltering in place. I began contemplating what it’d be like to rejoin the working world, and how I’d have to learn yet another culture, understand the power structures, and navigate blindly until I could get the course charted. It seemed like it might finally come together after a particularly positive interview for a smaller software company that appeared to be the ideal landing spot.
During the week following the interview, I got a message from the recruiter that said that they really felt positively about me after the interview, but they were going to have to put a hold on hiring for a while. Technically, I’m still in the running for that job, but I might not be able to wait around and find out if it’ll still be there when things “go back to normal.”
There’s nothing wrong with me. I’m no more depressed or stressed than usual, but yet I’ve hit a kind of malaise. It’s possible that we launched into sheltering in place with such fervor that I’m just tired now. Maybe I have not been getting enough sleep, staying up to chat with family and friends, or binge-watching television shows while they’re free. Whatever the cause, the effect is that I’m not in front of a computer as much these days, so writing has taken a back seat.
This post is the first one I’ve written in a while. Maybe it’s one that will remind me of this time of social isolation when I read it again in a year or two. While some will be considering if it was worth all the hassle of self-quarantine and hoarding toilet paper, I’ll likely be wondering how months could have slipped by without more substantive writing. Why don’t I simply cordon off an hour or two each day and force myself to write?
What I’ve learned on this unemployment stint is that time rolls on whether you pay attention or not. This time around, I am paying attention, and even still, I look back and another week is jettisoned. It brings to mind the sayings “this, too, shall pass” and “kill time before time kills you”. Eventually, there will be a new president, COVID-19 will be less novel, and I’ll be back in the working mix, dishing up a hot plate of acronyms and vernacular.
See you out there…